Joe: A Final Farewell

Well, this is it. After a very short three and a half years, my time at B.U. has come to an end. I’ve given you all my wisdom. Now it’s time for me to go out into the world and probably dump even more unwanted wisdom on you in the future. But for now, I’ll be stressing about finding a job and figuring out what I want to do with my life (fun fact: sometimes you graduate and still don’t know what you want to do for a living!)

COM has become a second home to me and it makes me sad to be leaving this place behind. To procrastinate my final projects and reminisce to make me cry, here’s a list of my favorite things at COM and B.U. that I’m going to miss the most.

  1. Charles River Bread Co.’s Allston Asiago

Hot damn I love this sandwich with every fiber of my being. C.R.B.C. has my heart, my soul, my brain, and my eternal gratitude for introducing this sandwich into my life. For those of you who are true fans, you’ll know that I am (was?) the pickiest eater in America. The progress that has been made here has been exponential and it feels like a whole new world is being explored.

  1. Convenience Points

They’re so convenient. Still mad that during my time at B.U., I was unable to get the fun nickname CoPo to stick. I think that’s a missed opportunity, but that’s just me. I guess I could use Apple Pay like the hipster in me says to, but it won’t be the same.

  1. The awful picture on my BU ID

I’ve hated it since that picture was taken June of 2013 at orientation. And over the years, I’ve grown to love this dumb face and everything it has to offer. Sure, I could bring it with me, but it feels less insignificant without much purpose. But not to worry, there’ll be plenty of bad pictures of me in the future. Just keep up-to-date on my Facebook tagged photos during my early through mid twenties.

  1. Free Food

The one thing that isn’t exaggerated about college is the amount of free food on campus. If I had a dollar for every free Nesquik I received while walking down Comm Ave, I’d have almost as much money as President Brown’s salary. Kidding…no one will ever have that much money. But free Domino’s pizza at events and meetings will forever be missed. RIP. (Can we pour one out for corporate pizza?)

  1. COM Undergraduate Affairs

On a serious note, my on-campus job has been a shining experience in the whirlwind that is college. I’ve learned more in that office than I have in any classroom in COM and I am forever grateful to every single person in Undergrad Affairs (formerly and forever Student Services) for taking me in and making me a part of the COM family (especially Elisabeth…sorry Bryan, she made me do it). I won’t miss filling folders and answering the phone though…

This isn’t the last you’ll hear of me. I’ll be around, my spirit echoing through the halls of COM as the ghost of COM Ambassadors past.

Joe: Look Back At It

So here we are, just weeks away from the rest of my life. I always have said that Halloween is basically the end point of the semester, with the following weeks acting like one of those moving sidewalks in an airport. The time just seems to jump and everything is coming down to the wire so quickly. So I want to take this time to slow down. Take it all in. Stop and smell the roses, if you will.

Get ready because this blog post is about to get weirdly emotional and feel like you got kicked in the face with emotions.

CABlogFeels

I have spent 3.5 years at B.U. and it has been some of the best years of my life. I have met people who have built me up and challenged who I am. I’ve grown and grown and grown some more. I’ve made mistakes and accomplishments and everything in between. I have learned more about the world and it’s people and how I fit in to all of it. What role do I play and how can I make the world a better place for all who inhabit it?

These are the questions I have been asking myself upon my impending graduation. What do I want to do with my life and how can I, Joe Piro, a humble boy from Long Island, make a difference in this big scary place? And will even those small efforts make a difference?

Last week, I sent in my absentee ballot to vote for the first female President of the United States. And while that seemed to have received some backlash from my family members back home, I’ve never felt more sure in my decision.  Yesterday, I cried watching Hilary’s “The Story of this Campaign” video. Even though I supported Bernie Sanders through the primaries, watching her progress made me think of my sisters, nieces, mom, grandmas, and every female friend I’ve ever had as I’ve watched them have to overcome things I as a man do not have to deal with. Yesterday may have been Election Day, but today starts the real work towards progress.

As of writing this blog post, the Presidential election is still undecided. And I just want to remind you all that the world is a wonderful place and we do not live in Medieval Times or during The Christian Crusades. And I feel now more than ever we have the power to shape this world into what we want it to be. I want to live in a place that is filled with optimism and hope and love. Wow, this sounds corny but I’m in rare form from this election and I just want the world to be a happy place.

ELECTION2016

 

Joe: The Senior Citizen Club

Wow, another sappy “I’m A Senior” post.

HA! WRONG!

Don’t get me wrong; I am devastated that my college career is coming to an end. But in 3 short months, I will never have to write another paper again. EVER. I have spent 15 years as a student in the American education system and if it has taught me anything, it’s that most forms of homework are actually forms of torture in disguise. Guantanamo-level torture.

Hold on, kids, because this is about to get sappy.

A few nights ago, I texted my friend in NYC, “I’m going to miss college so much.” I don’t remember what prompted the text, but it made me think back to all of the shenanigans my friends and I have gotten into these past few years. Do you ever stalk yourself on social media and look at pictures from pre-college life?

This is an accidental ritual I do probably once a month (mostly because I like to think that college made me hot).

But also as a subtle reminder of how much my life has changed these past 3 and a half years. My one friend likes to remind me that I looked like a worm in high school (she’s not wrong). College is like the cocoon phase of my life. So let’s hope post-grad is when I become a butterfly. Although, my expectations are that I’ll be more of a gross moth. Is that how caterpillars work? I missed that day of elementary school and feel like it’s too late in the game to ask now.

Everyone tells you how fast college goes by, but no one ever takes it seriously. I guess it’s just something you have to live through. The impending doom that is adulthood lurking around the corner is enough to keep anyone from wanting to graduate, but I feel strangely at peace with the whole “college ending” thing (most of the time). Maybe it just hasn’t hit me yet. Until then, this will be me as I write my final few college papers:

Joe: Why you SHOULDN’T study abroad

Imagine leaving everything you know behind to live in a foreign place for four months? Well, hold on to your hats, kids, because this guy did just that and moved to this tiny little place called London. Maybe you’ve heard of it, maybe you haven’t. But I’m here to tell you why you shouldn’t abandon everything you know for an experience abroad. You will hate every second of it and have so much regret, continuously counting down the days until you’re back home living with your parents.

Trust me.

First of all, London is D I S G U S T I N G. There are so many scenic landmarks to photograph that you’ll be too overwhelmed. And sometimes the sun comes out and it’s warm and it’ll make you go “WHYYYYYYY????”

Secondly, there is nothing to do here. It’s unbearable. There’s only so many times you can go to the Harry Potter Studio Tour, Borough Market, Camden Market, Portobello Market, Shoreditch, SoHo, Chelsea, Oxford Circus, ride the London Eye, see Big Ben, explore the South Bank, go to Brighton Beach, etc. before you get tired of it all. The lack of things to do here makes London incredibly boring.

London is so segregated from the rest of Europe that it’s almost impossible to travel beyond the UK. A 3-hour train ride just to get to Paris…seriously!?! Truthfully, I’ll settle for nothing longer than 2 hours and 59 minutes.

(P.S. The pizza in Florence is literally so gross that you’ll contemplate how lucky you are to never have to see it again)

Everyone here speaks English and it’s sooooooo inconvenient. To be able to understand what everyone is saying all the time is not exactly what I had in mind when fantasizing about my time abroad. And the people are a little too friendly. It’s like they’re overcompensating for that time we dumped their tea in a certain harbor. Or their overzealous imperialism.

And lastly, it sucks because I’m further than I’d like to be from the greatest man on the planet and my real life role model, as pictured below.

So, in conclusion, it’s probably best that you just don’t come here. I’ll stay and carry this burden for the both of us.

 

Joe: Stop Whatever You’re Doing and Listen To This

“I feel like every time I see you, you’re stressed out about something” is a real thing someone said to me today. Like, with actual words from their mouth.

But today will be different because the best time of the year is here. The ultimate party jams all mashed together it one beautiful and cohesive YouTube video. Except this year, there are two, which means double the fun.

I love Pop Danthology and all of his mash-ups, but this year has been S T E L L A R for music. I think that’s something we all can agree on. And if not, let me just remind you of the power of our Lord and savior Taylor Swift, the comeback kid himself, Justin Bieber, and the real Queen of England, Adele.

So as a tribute to the coming weekend and the last remaining weeks of the semester, turn it up with these awesome song/video mash-ups. You won’t be disappointed. And everyone will be satisfied.

Note: These are awful to study to. Do not recommend. You will just sing along the whole time and get nothing done. Trust me. But remember, good grades do not guarantee you a job. Leave room for some downtime. It’s soooooo important, I can’t stress that enough.

Until next time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep152idlUUA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b9_cBXGEdU

Joe: S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D

The one thing Hollywood got right is how stressful college is. It’s a constant game of time management, while somehow still remembering to eat. Currently, I’m neglecting to eat in order to get this post in on time, so L.E. doesn’t kill me.

You may be expecting some deep, emotional wisdom from this post. Don’t. Stop that. We’re getting ahead of ourselves. Instead, I’m going to give you an insight into my current state of life and how to learn from my mistakes.

#TBT to that time when I was so stressed out over homework that I almost cried in front of all of B.U. Here’s a tip: breathe. Prioritize. These are things I’m not good at. But you have time to perfect them and be in a much happier place.

Try not to bite off more than you can chew. Find the classes you know you’ll get the most out of and commit to them. The others that aren’t as important don’t require every ounce of your attention and for you to go above and beyond.

College is just as much of a social learning experience as it is an actual learning experience. Like from books and stuff. So prioritize. Can that reading wait because the Emmys are on and you really just want to hangout with your friends and analyze everyone’s acceptance speeches? The answer is yes, it can. Bonus tip: be sure to practice your own Emmy acceptance speech during commercial breaks.

College is hard. Life is harder. Homework is temporary. So don’t freak out. Or do freak out. Who am I to tell you what to do? Just remember that the weekend will be here before you know it. And you’ll be able to forget your responsibilities for a little while. Until Sunday night comes around and you’re scrambling all over again.

Stay in school, kids. Say you’ll remember me standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset when you’re famous and I’m still paying off my student loans.

Joe: How to Prank Your Roommate

April Fool’s Day is one of the best days of the year. You can basically do whatever you want and get away with it. Failed a test? April Fools. Fart in public? April Fools. Rob a bank? April Fools.

It’s the perfect time to test the boundaries with your roommate. By now, you’ve gotten to know each other pretty well. It’s time for the prank wars to begin. Here are some fun April Fool’s Day pranks you can play on your roommate that may or may not get you in hot water.

1. The 3:00 a.m. Wake Up

If you’re a morning person or you tend to stay up late, this is the perfect prank for you. Set all the clocks in your room forward 3 or 4 hours. Set your roommate’s alarm to 3 a.m. and sit back and watch the madness ensue. This is a great prank to start off the day. For added fun, set an alarm on their phone for every hour following and watch their frustration grow.

2. Bengay Butt

Put a thin layer of Bengay or Icy Hot on your roommate’s toilet seat.  Beware! If you share a toilet with a roommate, be sure to let them use it first or this prank may backfire.  For even more fun, put plastic wrap between the seat and the bowl.

3. Febreeze Bomb

Buy zip ties and a few cans of Febreze.  Clip the zip tie around loosely.  When you are ready, pull the zip tie so that Febreze is spraying, throw the can into your roommate’s room, and run for your life. This is especially helpful if your roommates smells and never cleans their room.

4. Mac Attack

If your roommate is one to leave his or her computer open, change his or her wallpaper to an image that looks like the screen is broken.  For inspiration, search “cracked screen wallpapers” and prank away!

5. Super Fan

Pick a celebrity you know your roommate despises, and print out tons of different pictures of them. Tape and hang all of these pictures around their room. If you’re feeling especially devious, staple a picture to an assignment they will be handing in to a professor.

Maybe you’re a planner, like me. For instance, I’ve been taking and hiding one thing from my roommate’s desk everyday for the past two weeks in preparation for a grand finale on April 1st. Hoping to make the whole desk disappear but we’ll see how committed I’m feeling. I’ll be sure to keep you all updated on the results. Does anyone even read this?

Joe: Being Single on Valentine’s Day

As if being single wasn’t hard enough, the universe just comes along and throws this holiday in your face to remind you of your singlehood. Valentine’s Day is cool and all, but it’s no one’s favorite holiday. We kind of just accept it and wait for it to be over so we can get on to the real fun: Chinese New Year. If you’re like me and haven’t tricked anyone into viewing you as a potential romantic interest, then here are some alternative V-Day plans.

 

1.    Crying yourself to sleep

Oh come on, like you weren’t going to do this anyway? It’s ok. No one will ever love you as much as that body pillow you spoon with at night and that’s completely ok. I won’t tell if you don’t.

2.    Binge watching romantic comedies on Netflix

If Matthew McConaughey has taught me anything, it’s that a one-dimensional female character will come along and try to force me to move out of my parent’s house and make me grow up. If that doesn’t sound like a typical Valentine’s Day date, then I don’t know what to tell you. (Failure to Launch is still completely relevant even if it did come out almost ten years ago, right?)

3.    Thirdwheeling your coupled friends

Invite your friends over and stare longingly at them until everyone is uncomfortable. Isn’t loneliness fun?

4.    Go to the gym

Statistically speaking, you’ve already met the person you’re going to marry. You might as well do a few push-ups and sit-ups to finally get them to notice you. Then you can ride sidesaddle off into the sunset like the Disney princess you were born to be.

5.    Practice your Black Swan.

Also your Albino Duck, which is a character from one of Tchaikovsky’s lesser known ballets. She’s jilted, but still confident, and really good at Natalie Portman impressions. Also, she doesn’t commit suicide over a dude. So there’s that.

6.    Start a fire.

Remember that Friends episode where the girls were burning pictures of exes and it started a fire and some hot firemen came and ended up being their dates? That might happen. There’s always hope.

7.    Three words: Tinder. Tinder. Tinder.

What your friends and family don’t know won’t hurt them.