Every six months, writing students bang their heads against the walls for hours on end, repeatedly asking themselves why they waited until the end of the semester to do all of their rewrites and revisions. You can trust me on this. I’ve been doing it for years. So, as the only person who will ever give you sage advice ever, I’m here, once more, to help in the form of your finals week playlist.
Six songs to get you through finals week. Ready? Go.
1. Tyga – Rack City Now, you’re listening to this song because your undergraduate roommates are listening to it and they’re already partying. How do I know this? Because you’re already in the wrong place for studying and writing. Don’t study in your room. Find a nice park or coffee shop and get to work (see my blog on the best places to work in the area.) You’re not going to get any work done if you’re sitting in your room, because that’s where you sleep, and eventually, you’re going to crawl into bed.
2. Rufus Wainright – Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk This one’s important. Every time the song comes on your playlist, I want you to stand up and take a cigarette break. Not an actual cigarette break, but five or ten minutes every hour of work. Get your legs moving, you jerk. If you’re sitting in front of Avid or Final Draft for three hours at a time, you’re really just going to fry your brain. Don’t do that. This is directly adverse to the completion of finals. Also, don’t smoke. That’s unhealthy.
3. Five Iron Frenzy – The End is Here Yes. The entire two-disc album. Keep thinking positively. Just three more tests and four more full-length feature films and you’ll be done. Remember: you’re going to do great. You’re an excellent student, and everybody loves you. Finals are one thousand times worse if you think about how bad they are. You’ve done this before, and until you’ve got your degree, you’re going to do it again. Also, you kind of did this to yourself. So there’s that. But really. It’s almost over. You can do it.
4. Freddy Figglehorn – The Babysitter’s a Vampire Chances are, you started taking a break during Rufus Wainright and StumbleUpon’d all the way through Five Iron Frenzy. Don’t be ashamed. I know. Ska can do that to you. Look. Stay vigilant. Be your own Batman. The only way you’re going to get through this alive is by staying off Reddit and not spending twelve hours picking your perfect playlist on Songza. You’re not going to get any work done if you’re not getting any work done.
5. Aerosmith – I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing This one’s for the writers at the party. I know that the first thing you’re going to do when you get done is go submit your document and go sleep. Don’t do that, you fool. Take fifteen, thirty minutes, maybe an hour and go back over what you’ve written. It pays off in the end. Think of how many times you’ve lost points on an exam because you didn’t check your answers. This is like that, but worse, and it comes back to bite you in the rear when you absentmindedly submit whatever you’ve written as part of a portfolio.
6. Sea Wolf – Middle Distance Runner This is the most important advice I’ll ever give you. For the love of Sufjan, pace yourself. Don’t leave all of your work for the last minute. Break it up into doable chunks. To use a real life example, don’t try to write thirty pages a day to finish your feature film in a weekend.
That’s all you’re getting for now. Maybe I’ll do more pseudo-playlists in the future. For now, here’s the link. I’m off to write thirty pages a day to finish my feature film in a weekend.