Boston University School of Law

At the end of my first semester I posted about the desktop images on my laptop that I had chosen to keep me focused and energetic, and I’ve decided to end this semester with a similar summary, especially since I’m signing off until fall classes begin. Thanks for going through my first year of law school with me over this blog!

Did I mention before that this laptop I’m writing on is the first computer I’ve ever had? I made it through undergrad with late nights in the computer lab but that was before you needed online access for Facebook. I mean, assignments. (Listen, I’m only on Facebook because my friend made me promise to join his group in exchange for covering an event I was supposed to lead.) To date myself, when I entered undergrad the university gave us a tech seminar explaining something called email. BU Law is great about making just about everything available online except free coffee, which, anyway, is available in person on Wednesdays in the tower café. Now that my laptop has become indispensable it needs to be personalized with the perfect desktop image.

I feel awkward to be joking given the news you may have read in my last post about Andrew. At one point several years ago, reflecting on seeing people go through difficult times and unfair situations, in particular a few continuing stories in my family, I wrote a short list of what caring does not mean and a short partner list about what caring does mean. It wasn’t exhaustive and I’m not even sure if it’s right, but it helped me sort out my default responses. From those lists, I’ll just mention a few: caring does not mean trying to fix what’s wrong; caring does not mean being serious; caring does mean being committed; caring does mean having fun. You won’t hear me saying something uplifting about Andrew being in a better place, because he got shortchanged. But I saw him follow through on principled decisions in life and he has a legacy of three children and many influenced folks to show for it. I think he decided to be a fun person, and he was, and people felt cared for when he laughed with them. I’ll remember that.

Here are the desktop images that powered me through the semester, in succession:

Haiti BEFORE the earthquake: to remember that I’m not gaining institutional access just for myself.

Vintage boxing poster of a fight on my birthday: to remember that life is a prizefight.

Weekend trip to Roger Williams Park in RI: in the Botanical Center with my favorite person.

And let me say more about my favorite person (see her photos below). In a very real way, I’ve followed Yaminette’s footsteps to school, because she entered BU ahead of me to get a double Masters in social work and public health. She just graduated from the first of these! Nahum at just under 3-years-old is not one for sitting still, and when we arrived to Yaminette’s commencement early I tried to tire him out by exploring the hallways outside the gymnasium, but he insisted on “waiting for Mami.” He was quiet until the graduates walked to the stage and Mami walked right past him, apparently having plans other than sitting with him in the audience. He then screamed over the introductions, prompting our belated sojourn through the hallways during which he repeated, “I don’t want to go back in there.”

New professionals: Yaminette (up front) with graduating social worker friends.

But I can only imagine how deeply the ceremony must have registered with Yaminette’s grandmother who grew up in a small Puerto Rican town, with a father who worked a day shift wearing the family’s one button up shirt, afterward stopping home to give the same shirt to his eldest son to work the evening shift. Yaminette: you’re honoring the hard work your family put in to set you up for success, I’m so proud of you!

I’m feeling pretty good about how far we’ve come as teammates, too. Our VT wedding and honeymoon were, well, interesting. A huge rainstorm canceled the outdoor plans, the lodge and marriage contract were sold a couple weeks before the wedding to new owners who knew nothing of what we had planned for months, an inspirational butterfly release went awry when they were too chilled by the weather to wake up while roaming farm animals strangely decided to stampede the patio, etc. That’s just the wedding. On the first day of the honeymoon, I slipped on mud through the electric fence of a horse farm and took out the back door of the car Yaminette brought into our marriage. For the payment plan we brokered to fix the farm, we could have cruised the Caribbean. It rained all week through our rustic mountain top cabin getaway hiking plans, we almost were attacked by two dogs which I fended off with rolled-up blankets, we had to cut the week short because Yaminette’s sister had a surprise wedding the weekend after ours, etc.

The lasting success of the week, though, was proof that we can go through anything together. We’re still fighting, and at last, getting somewhere. What’s on your desktop?