The Spark

So, in my religion classes this semester we’ve read a lot of books about people (generally male clergy) who are wrestling with their own imperfections, especially when they are constantly confronted with the perfection of Christ. Whether it was St. Augustine in his Confessions, or Shusaku Endo’s Silence, the narrators are constantly striving to be more pure, and humble, and compassionate and whatever other adjectives they could come up with to liken themselves to their savior. However, they never seemed satisfied with their efforts. Even though, they both seemed incredibly pious and devout in their faith they constantly struggled to be more Christian and to prove how Christian they were.

This week at the Sanctuary the main message was about how important it is to continually work toward justice and compassion in the world. However, unlike for the people in my readings, there isn’t any shame or guilt in the struggle. I don’t have an expectation for my self or others to ever be perfectly good. I think that those moments when we try to be better, or go out of our way to be authentic with other people, are when the little piece of divinity that lives within each of us gets to shine. But that piece of divinity is not dependent on how good we are. That spark is there even when we are falling a part. It’s there when things get too hard and we have to reach out to others, and its there when others reach out to us. That little shining light might not always be blazing bright, but it is inherent within us all.

Sometimes during my readings, I felt bad for those people. I wish they could see that there is a little piece of divine love that lives within them, that won’t ever go away. It’s the love that draws us to be in community together and it’s the love that reassures us even if we feel like we aren’t being our best selves. Sitting in Sanctuary tonight, I felt that divine love spark within me, joined with every other person around me and with the divine spark in the universe. And it reminded me that even though I’m not always my best, sometimes I get angry or do stupid things, I am part of the divine.

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