I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. On one hand, I love that I can stay in touch with friends who I don’t see often or are across the world because of study abroad and such. I also really love that I can stalk all the adorable pictures of babies in my friends’ lives (but that’s a whole other story). I also really hate Facebook. I hate that I can be out to dinner with a group of my friends and the table will be silent as everyone is on their phones looking at Facebook. I hate that there can be so much unnecessary drama flung in every direction with dramatic statuses and arguments and hurtful statements in the comments. But there’s something that bothers me the most about Facebook, that I didn’t realize until recently: It warps the idea and meaning of friendship.
Do you remember that ad from Toyota of the teen sitting at her computer telling the camera about her parents who joined Facebook? She laughed and mocked them that they only had 18 friends, and she had 687. Then the scene changes to her parents having the time of their life mountain-biking with said 18 friends, and it flashes back to the teen alone at the table proudly stating that what she was doing was “living” and her parents were lame. That commercial always stuck with me, but now more than ever. I realized that Facebook has warped my idea of friendship. I recently had a falling out with one of my closest friends. Obviously sad about losing her friendship, I also had a panicked moment where I told myself I was down to only two close friends back home, and sadly, I think that upset me more. Then I asked myself why. Why am I more worried/sad about the number of friends I have. And the answer came to me: Facebook. Facebook is all about how many friends you have and who’s having the best time. It’s like a competition of who has the most adventurous life. And that’s just not realistic.
A wise woman once told me that if I had just one true friend, then I was very blessed. True friendship, she said, is rarer than you think. She told me to fight for the ones who are worth it, and with love let go of those who aren’t. I have to remember that next time Facebook tries to convince me that quantity is more important than quality.