I have been told so many times that “there’s freedom in scheduling.” What does that even mean? For the longest time I didn’t know, and it used to frustrate me so much each time someone told me that (that someone mainly being my mentor at the time, but still). I like to consider myself a free spirit, going where the winds of my moods and emotions take me. If I didn’t feel like doing homework, I didn’t. If I felt like dropping everything I was doing to go get coffee with a friend, I would. If my heart just wasn’t into something, I quit. If I didn’t feel like studying, I didn’t. Are you getting the gist? I was explaining this to a roommate once who looked at me horrified and asked how I survived college this far. I explained that the trick, though, is that I will always eventually be in the mood to study. So I push off studying until I feel like it, then I do it with undivided attention and focus and actually do well on the test each time. Telling me that there is freedom in scheduling when my spontaneous, capricious ways have brought me joy, excitement and good grades, was just, well, preposterous.
Did I mention that this capricious, free-spirited way of life worked flawlessly when I had no other commitments outside of class? Yup. Well, lets throw in two jobs and a serious relationship this semester. I tried so hard to stick to my unstructured way of life. But not so slowly and surely, things started becoming chaotic. I was forgetting assignments, nearly failing tests, unintentionally ignoring friends, for the first time ever was chronically stressed and had more sobbing breakdowns than I even thought possible. What was happening to me?! I just had too many commitments and responsibilities to be able to study whenever I felt like it, or drop everything to see friends. But I chose to do those than to do my homework, study in time, or complete my internship responsibilities. And naturally, things fell apart.
Echoing in my head were the words that my mentor always said to me: “there’s freedom in scheduling.” My director for this internship, Soren, told me the same thing and together we worked on it. He helped me time-manage and prioritize, and schedule in homework and study time and also social time. When midterms came around and I had 5 midterms in one week, I knew I had to buckle down. I scheduled and planned my time, and that week, although busy, was relatively stress free. There were no last-minute, late-night cram sessions, no tears, and no feelings of hopelessness. I did my work, and I stayed focus. And I’m proud to announce that I did well on all of my midterms! Yay!
I finally understand what “freedom in scheduling” means, and while I miss my spontaneous, free spirited days, it’s just not applicable anymore as I have more and more responsibilities and commitments. I’m actually excited to schedule my time! Who would’ve guessed!?