There is a phenomenon in psychology called the foot-in-the-door effect. The idea is that if someone agrees to do something small for you, they are more likely to agree to a larger favor next. Similarly, there is another principle called the door-in-the-face effect. If you ask someone to do a very large favor and they refuse, they are more likely to do a smaller favor if you ask them immediately afterwards.
Both of these ideas can be used to make pretty effective persuasive techniques. I found this out firsthand when I spoke with a woman on my way to work. She was standing on Beacon Street, engaging passers-by in conversation about conservation efforts in the Appalachian mountains. After she waved to me and I stopped to chat with her, I quickly realized that she was asking for contributions to support her group’s work.
I started to get a little nervous. I had an inkling that by agreeing to talk to her, it was a bit more likely that I would agree to give, something I’m not normally comfortable doing. Here was the foot-in-the-door effect at play. So, perhaps instinctively, I gave various reasons why I wasn’t willing to donate at that time. In hindsight, I don’t know if that was the best course of action.
It didn’t matter what I said, though. With each reason (or, from another standpoint, excuse) I gave her, she had a response. The amount she was asking for gradually started to decrease, until finally it was something that I could reasonably donate as a college student. Here was the door-in-the-face effect, and I could sense that it was working.
When I think about that conversation, her persistence and energy stands out more than my unease during that experience. It takes conviction to stand outside in the cold for over an hour to talk to people and try to gain their support. I would think that doing this kind of work regularly involves dealing with people who deliberately avoid or ignore you. I will admit, I am often one of these people. I respect the woman who talked to me for her courage to brush aside such setbacks, and for her persistence in trying to reach me.
One could argue that she wasn’t primarily interested in talking to me, but more in what I could give her. That may be true, but is that any different from me being more interested in getting to work than talking to her? Each of us has a motive when we speak. It may be to persuade someone, console them, or simply to carry out a casual conversation. These underlying goals of speech fall short in the end if no one listens. To have someone listen requires perseverance in reaching out to them, even if they may not want to acknowledge you at first.
I think God acts in a similar way. I cannot claim to have ever heard or spoken with the Divine, but I do believe that God calls us in our everyday lives. Sometimes we may not understand, sometimes we may not want to hear or receive the message. At the very least, we can take moments to pause despite our business and begin to listen. We may hear only silence or our thoughts at first. But if we put our foot in the door, then we will make ourselves more open to God’s influence in our lives when it approaches us.