My first week in Boston, I met a lot of new people. I had just recently accepted and become really excited about my calling into ministry. It was also a pivotal piece to my decision to transfer. I found out relatively quickly however, that when people ask you what you want to be when you grow up, and you answer a Pastor, it is not the best way to make friends quickly.
I have found however, that the people who stick around after that are worth it. It took time, but I have made some really amazing and wonderful friends here in Boston. I even swell up with happiness and admittedly some pride when my not so religious friends tell me that they think I will make a pretty awesome pastor.
But…for some reason, when I am meeting a new peer, I can not help but feel all sorts of anxiety when they questions of future come up. Being curious I like to know what other people’s ambitions in life are. Then they often respectfully ask me back. I have tried in the past to doge the question by saying things like “I want to go into the business of helping people” or “I want to make a difference in people’s lives.”
This past week, I had a conversation with a new friend. That question came up. And with more certainty and confidence than ever before, I stated that I was planning on going into the ministry. Perhaps because I am no longer uncomfortable with the implications that such a statement may carry, the conversation had a notably different tone. Curiosity was there, but the previously felt tension was not. Maybe all along I just needed to be sure of myself. It is an interesting thought for sure. It is amazing how we can be so sure of God in our hearts, and yet not always comfortable talking about our faith in everyday life. I am learning slowly how to balance my faith as a crucial part of who I am, while simultaneously letting my light shine in a world that has previously told me to hide it under a bushel.