Vocation

I heard the T tracks whistling for the first time in a long time. I went an entire day without headphones. Music is what grounds me throughout the day. It’s a common reminder that everything will be okay. It is like my portable bible. A personal connection to God at every moment. I went without them for 24 hours, I went without music. I couldn’t put on my headphones and ignore the various conversations and people that I might encounter. Most of the time I use them as a shield from being social. I’ve realized when I’m constantly putting myself out in the world as a social creature, I’ve left little time for self-reflection. Putting my headphones on is my way of taking some time to be in my head. Today I didn’t. I forced myself to listen to each environment I was in, hear the conversations, and be present. I’m torn if this time of being present is beneficial for me and I should go without headphones more often or is ignoring the world needed sometimes.

I honestly turn to Jesus (no I am not comparing myself to Jesus) and think what would he do. I doubt he would ignore the world, history tells us something drastically different in fact. But what if Jesus was in introvert? I think he would still care, I think he would still sacrifice himself for us. I think it goes deeper than  being social.

Working in ministry, even at entry-level, you put others first a majority of the time. You try to practice self-care, but you care so much it becomes secondary. How do you balance that? How can you justify being isolated from the world even for two minutes with your headphones on, when you don’t know who you just ignored. I think the biggest obstacle in leadership is how to maintain your own sanity. Jesus is an example that seems so impossible to us. To put others first constantly. Is that how we should live?