I just finished walking over the stairway from Cummington Mall to Beacon Street, and began to turn left towards my apartment.
As the blinding sun shone on my eyes, words began to buzz into my head that I heard just a couple of hours earlier in a brief conversation I had with my girlfriend as we were looking at our options for food.
“He said he had to do some hard things.
He sometimes had to forego theology
for the sake of
humanity.”
Buzzing thoughts. The sun shining over my head. My day was just beginning after my early lunch.
“forego theology for the sake of humanity.”
I get it. I think I get it. I mean…I think I get it.
C.S. Lewis talked of how the truths in theological concepts can be found through different interpretations of ideas and stories. They can be understood in various levels. I think that’s the idea.
I mean I think that’s it. I mean do I think that’s it?
Fractions of other conversations popped into my head. My excited words over a dinner table:
God is like a sine curve, friend. See, this *I draw some kind of waveform that is not uniform* this is like God. See, the Celtic Christians say the Holy Spirit is like a wild goose. See we, *I start drawing other curves* see we are like these lines trying to converge on this one to pursue God. See how the Bible has all these stories and in some ways they are inconsistent? That is because the writers were speaking to humanity at a specific point in time. Sometimes some ideas are more relevant than others. Sometimes some ideas are also better than others. And so we as individuals respond courageously to our existences, friend. See we bring the hope, we bring hospitality and holy community, and we stand for justice. We respond to our cultures and societies with relevance by mapping to this sine curve. The parameters depend on the society, the cultures, the people in it at that specific point in time. Our God responds and we respond. We speak for this hope and for God. There’s some aesthetics here too. Beauty. Beauty changes. Beauty responds. We use imagery that maps to this curve and speaks to our fellow humans in new and ever-changing ways. But the beauty is still beauty. The hope is still hope. It’s about how this impacts. How these ideas impact us as human beings. The concepts. The ideas. The emotions. The values. Existence and the challenges of today change. God changes. But God is more than that, friend. I mean, somewhere in that sine curve some man wrote that God just…well that God is. God is. Existence. But aesthetics too.
It brings me back to an old conversation I had with a pastor after we debated the literalness of certain biblical stories. I just could not conceive these stories to really be dependent on their historicity and literalness. My intuition cannot accept it. Call it the engineer in me, or spare me some judgement, Mr. Pastor, but it might just be my theological and philosophical influences. As I heard many times before, a liberal Christian mantra: “I take the Bible too seriously to take it literally,” continues to echo through my head.
Although, yes, I know there’s some history in there too. This library of art has many different literary styles.
And as we continued to discuss this, I pressed the actual question to this preacher that was actually on my mind:
“But like, I want to grow with the church go to – maybe this church – and I think I want to be involved more, in the community – in..well maybe ministry. Or other leadership. That’s my concern: even with these ideas, could I be a minister or a leader? Could I help? If this was further down the road, would you ever let me be involved in some sort of leadership…would I help serve? Would you let me help, knowing I think this way?”
And then I was told, “No.”
And that was it. The words hit me sharply. I looked down. The identities I hold – this church I go to, and yet I know the truth: I just do not belong here. I’ve known for months.
But that wasn’t the whole response. He continued, “Because, if you were dealing with a person struggling with,”
I continued to listen.
“—and this person, they ask you, ‘do you think the resurrection was literal,’ what do you do then?”
I don’t even remember what I told that man.
But the image crossed my mind in an almost comical mockery of my Christian and humanist and existentialist spirit as I pictured my response in trying to show my theology while I was standing in the dining hall after hearing Sarah talk about forgoing theology for humanity.
“Oh,well,youseeIdokindofinawaybutlikethecrossummsoseelikePaulTillich
talkedaboutthecouragetobeandsothisrelatestotheseanxietiesthatheargued
humanityincertainperiodsexperienced
okaysoJohnHick,nowaitletmetakeastepback,considerMcHarguewell
Idon’tagreewithMcHarguemaybehow
BellKaniaLewisKierkegaardputsit…nowaitsookaysobacktoTillichwellhe
wrotetoapopulationofProtestants
inthe50ssothere’sanintentionalitybehindbecausetheywere
afraidofimpendingdoombecauseyouknowwars
andweaponsofmassdestruction–Iamnotansweringyourquestion,
wellImeanyesbutwellImeanwellyesbutno?likewhat
doyoumeanbyresurrectionbecauseyikesseeIwell
ImeantheologicallyIthinkyoushouldconsidernoI
meanseeIummwellImeantheChristasthechurch
seestheChristtheologicallydoesnotdependonthehistorical
Jesusbecausethetheologyisthere
regardlessitservesapurposeandwellyouIseeGodisExistencewell
ImeanGodismorethanexistence
ImeanGodistheGroundofBeingaswearebeingsin
existenceyouandI,collectionsofmolecules,
wearetheyouseeImeanI I I I I I I I I I
I..ask me a question like that when we are in a different context, friend.”
And bam! It all hit me.
But then I remembered another example of theology being forgone for the sake of humanity. But this example involved baptizing dead babies.
‘But yikes,’ I thought, ‘dead babies. Wait like almost like proxy baptism but for yourself? But I get the context. But, the hurt. The pressing feelings there. And why is that where the focus is?”
Forgoing that theology for humanity?
I was now closer to my apartment, just a few brownstones away. The thoughts buzzed and bounced around in my thoughts.
So many theological concepts broken and subverted by Jesus in the Gospels. So many. He forwent theology for the sake of humanity. He changed the theology for the sake of humanity. Many theological concepts at that time oppressed and hurt people. Better theology, I think, came out of the subversion.
But, does theology responds to humanity or vice-versa? Would the need to forego theology mean that there is something strikingly wrong with the theology in the first place?
And the waters of theology I draw from? When I go back to my earlier reflection and my obsession with literalness, is that really just the older waters I drew from in high school still impacting me? Is that the point?
Another telling experience I had recently was when I was comforting a friend who was burnt out on their faith and their faith communities, and they just wanted to feel the presence of the Spirit again.
And I sat there. Dumbfounded. I thought about and discussed the psychology of religion and changing concepts. This did not help. I talked about courage, I talked about meaninglessness. Nothing helped. I wasn’t toying with theological or philosophical ideas with a friend at a bar or over Bibimbap.
No, I was trying to find the words
to help
this
friend.
And, there, sitting there, overlooking the many books in my little personal library, was me looking at my little personal idol of myself, my little pedestal of intellectual sharpness for all to see at my apartment, with all my books. Books on theology. On the philosophy of religion. On theories of knowledge. On the psychology of religion. So many books. Look at the books.
In a bind. I sat there, and my little pedestal came crashing down. My eyes were open.
I had little, if anything, to offer to my friend.
Little to offer.
By now I got to my door, and the buzzing in my head continued.
I think I get it. The importance of this study of theology. But how do I apply it. I have little to offer. Am I blinded by my arrogance?
It’s not about what I have to offer, but it’s about how I can help another. An other. It’s not about me.
But how do I help. I sat there, what is there to do to help. This friend, burnt out. Faith. Community.
But the theological concepts matter. Remember the energetic words:
It’s about how this impacts. How these ideas impact us as human beings. The concepts. The ideas. The emotions. The values.
What drives us to be better, more courageous, and selfless human beings? Where do we find the drivers for hope? The eternal life? What do I say? What can I offer to this friend to help give them back some life?
How exactly do I take the theological ideas within and put them to use beyond myself?