No Boundaries

Life has become so normal so fast. A week ago, Dr. Emans said that the outcome from Ben’s surgery was “phenomenal”. Ben no longer needs me, or anyone else, on a minute-by-minute or even hourly basis. So, I’m back to traveling, for work and sometimes for fun. But let me tell you about the first weekend in June.

The LOVE I've been feeling, Kripalu, June 1, 2013

I’m driving down the Mass Pike, returning home after a weekend spent with my college roomie Laura at our nearly annual Kripalu yoga and meditation weekend in the Berkshires. I have tears streaming down my face as I listen to all the best, and old, music on my iPhone blaring out at me through Bluetooth.

The weekend rejuvenated me, as does any good weekend spent with a terrific friend. But it also gave me the space and time to relax and let the stress of the past months disappear in the sweaty yoga studios, in my gazes across beautiful lakes, in my walks through forest trails around Tanglewood and in the serene surroundings of the former monastery.

As I’m listening to the Housemartins I realize that they are completely summing up for me how I’ve felt about all the help, support, love, and wonderful wishes I received during the time leading up to, during and after Ben’s spine surgery.

Ben not missing me when I was away! June 1, 2013

I tried to reply with not very glamorous emails to everyone who reached out to us, but it hasn’t felt like enough. Yet, I didn’t know how to put into a legible thank you note just exactly how your thoughts and gifts—whether they were prayers, meals, cards, pictures, blankets, wine, books, magazines, balloons, coffee, cookies, toys, phone calls, emails, texts, Facebook posts, tweets, visits, gift cards or responses to my specific cries for help with Charlotte and Lucy—have impacted me.

I was lifted up and carried when I didn’t think my legs could take me much farther. I was given a huge squeeze when I felt very alone. I heard your strong voices telling me we could get through this, and these voices erased all elements of self-doubt I was experiencing. And I’ll summon all of these gifts you’ve given me again for Ben’s next surgery, on October 17, and for many surgeries beyond.

But let’s have the Housemartins tell you what it was really like. You need to crank up the volume on this to get the right effect. And you have to imagine me, in my Volkswagen, alone, just past Northampton, listening to this song for the first time in a very long time, and hearing all of you say to me:

In times when you’re troubled
Seems more than you can afford
And you feel, you feel you need a friend
Someone to share the load

And when your skies grow cloudy
I want you to know got a friend that’s true
Just like a shelter, in a time of storm
I’ll see you through, that’s what I’ll do

And when the tempest is raging
I want you to know got a friend that’s true
Just like a shelter, in a time of storm
I’ll see you through, that’s what I’ll do

I’ll see you through your bad times
I’ll see you through your fears
I’ll see you through your hang ups
Honey I’ll dry all your tears

Thank you, so much, for reaching out your hands. We couldn’t have made it through without you.