{"id":4482,"date":"2019-03-22T04:29:30","date_gmt":"2019-03-22T08:29:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.bu.edu\/comblog\/?p=4482"},"modified":"2019-03-22T04:29:30","modified_gmt":"2019-03-22T08:29:30","slug":"magdalene-relearning-to-love-being-alone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.bu.edu\/comblog\/2019\/03\/22\/magdalene-relearning-to-love-being-alone\/","title":{"rendered":"Magdalene: Relearning to Love Being Alone"},"content":{"rendered":"

As someone who had always considered herself an independent person growing up, I\u2019ve been surprised at the discontentment I\u2019ve felt being alone as of late. I think these uneasy feelings are a byproduct of my experience attending a school with fewer than 2,000 students prior to transferring to BU. I\u2019d always felt like I was under a microscope there \u2013 the smallness made me feel uncomfortable with the public displays of solitude that I had cherished previously. Going to meals at my other school was an event. It felt almost mandatory to go with friends or else you\u2019d be considered strange or people would cast pity looks at you. <\/span><\/p>\n

Now having had around a semester and a half here, I think BU (and Boston as a whole) offers fertile terrain for getting back to being comfortable with being alone. The sheer size of this school offers a certain sense of anonymity. When I leave my apartment it\u2019s refreshing to acknowledge to myself that the people I see outside may or may not be affiliated with BU. Alright, so I\u2019m not expert but here are some tips to feel more comfortable being \u201cseul\u201d (alone) by me, Magdalene Soule: <\/span><\/p>\n

1) Walk down Comm. Ave. with no music<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n

Gasp. I know. But hear me out\u2026This might feel quite awkward seeing as I\u2019ve noticed the vast majority of people listen to music walking between classes. In addition to the enjoyment of listening to music and the reprieve it allows one from the academic world, it\u2019s also a safety net. Try doing it a couple times. Look up and observe and really be present in the hustle and bustle. <\/span><\/p>\n

2) Take yourself on a coffee date<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n

Some people have absolutely zero issue doing this. But often people who are alone at coffee shops have something to occupy them \u2013 whether it be work or a newspaper. As a student myself, I think starting small is good. Bring your work to a local caf\u00e9 like Pavement, Caf\u00e9 Landwer, or Tatte. Once you\u2019re feeling more comfortable with that, try going alone without any explicit work. <\/span><\/p>\n

3) Take yourself on a museum or movie date<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n

Here in Boston we are fortunate enough to have many museums that are quite accessible. Also, if you show your BU ID, you can get into places like the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, the Museum of Fine Arts, the Institute of Contemporary Art for free (and other arts institutions like Boston Symphony Hall for a reduced rate). Going to the movies alone can feel especially daunting, but it\u2019s super empowering. You don\u2019t have to have a date (friend or romantic) to enjoy a film in solitude. <\/span><\/p>\n

4) Go to a sit-down restaurant<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t sit at the bar. Ask for a small table and order something off the full menu! I know that\u2019s a terrifying thought. If you don\u2019t want to spend money going out to eat, go to one of the many dining halls here and eat by yourself. <\/span><\/p>\n

5) Cry in public<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not joking. Okay, please don\u2019t force yourself into crying, but also don\u2019t repress your emotions if you\u2019re feeling something very intensely and you\u2019re in public. I know this might seem bizarre, but don\u2019t hold things in! Also, I want to make it very clear that I\u2019m not advocating for you to go through whatever you\u2019re going through alone. There are so many resources here at BU. I will link them at the bottom of this post. Be okay with not being okay and live your life out loud. Just know there are always people around to support you. <\/span><\/p>\n

What do you think of these tips? Do you have any suggestions? Leave a comment and let me know what you think!<\/span><\/p>\n

Resources at BU: \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bu.edu\/shs\/behavioral-medicine\/behavioral-resources\/<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bu.edu\/shs\/sarp\/<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bu.edu\/scnc\/all-services\/<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bu.edu\/ombuds\/<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bu.edu\/shs\/wellness\/general-health-programs\/wellness-program-kits\/<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As someone who had always considered herself an independent person growing up, I\u2019ve been surprised at the discontentment I\u2019ve felt being alone as of late. I think these uneasy feelings are a byproduct of my experience attending a school with fewer than 2,000 students prior to transferring to BU. I\u2019d always felt like I was … Continue reading Magdalene: Relearning to Love Being Alone<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2018,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[44578],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bu.edu\/comblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4482"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bu.edu\/comblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bu.edu\/comblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bu.edu\/comblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2018"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bu.edu\/comblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4482"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bu.edu\/comblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4482\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4483,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bu.edu\/comblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4482\/revisions\/4483"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bu.edu\/comblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4482"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bu.edu\/comblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4482"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bu.edu\/comblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4482"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}