by In\u00e8s Ouedraogo<\/p>\n
For my first blog post I wanted to discuss a topic that is taboo in the US culture and even more so in an academic context: pornography. As a PhD student focusing on porn studies I wanted this post to be read as an invitation for a dialogue on the way porn, especially online porn, affects, moves, inspires or confuses people. I will save here the polemical and never-ending debate on pro and anti-porn feminists. My stance is to discuss topics that are taboo specifically because of that, challenge myself and not approach them with a bias.
\nFor today\u2019s entry I thought of combining porn and relationships and how the former affects the latter and vice-versa. Thinking of current day relationships and porn consumption, there are many ways these two interact. Two possibilities are as follows: for some, porn is an opportunity to let go of frustrations and stress and focus on one\u2019s bodily pleasure without being judged. For others, porn can be a way of coping with loneliness and self-experiment.
\nWhat follows is a short story that a very close friend of mine shared with me and that raises a number of questions about the dissatisfaction of relationships with men and pornography. <\/p>\n
My Relationship with Porn<\/p>\n
At least once a month my mother asks me when I am going to give her grandchildren, but she doesn\u2019t understand modern relationships. I go on dates, but half of the time the men are on their phones. I can bring them home and do what people do when they go home together, we can maybe even call that a relationship, but that\u2019s not what my mother wants from me. I am just as close to porn as I am to those men. Porn doesn\u2019t ask me how my day was, and neither do those men. Porn doesn\u2019t call me before they go to sleep\u2014 the last man I saw didn\u2019t call me at any time of the day. My mother has this idea of a relationship that I\u2019m not sure exists anymore. Maybe it does. Maybe if I couldn\u2019t satisfy myself through porn I\u2019d be able to \u201cmake it work\u201d with men that I\u2019m seeing. What I\u2019m cheating on these men with pornography before I even meet them\u2014 hedging my bets. I\u2019m unwilling or unable to stake my satisfaction on one person, so I get a little satisfaction here and a little there. But it doesn\u2019t add up. Maybe four quarters don\u2019t make a whole. Maybe I need one, undivided whole.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
by In\u00e8s Ouedraogo For my first blog post I wanted to discuss a topic that is taboo in the US culture and even more so in an academic context: pornography. As a PhD student focusing on porn studies I wanted this post to be read as an invitation for a dialogue on the way porn, … Continue reading In search for the undivided whole.<\/span>