I’m not very good with words. So many times in my life, I have prepared a speech in my brain of exactly what I want to tell this one particular person. Sometimes it’s to say thank you, sometimes it’s to tell them how disappointed I am, and sometimes its just a never-ending rant. But alas, it never goes my way. I always stumble with my words or leave out parts I had flagged in my brain as critical. I have always strived to find a way to articulate myself. I never thought that choreographing would do this for me.
My piece for Visions 2012 will be my fourth and last (seeing how BU is insisting that I finally graduate). Each of my pieces have embodied a conversation that I wish I could have had with someone. Last semester, I choreographed a piece entitled, “it’s just a flesh wound”. The choreography, music, and lighting conveyed the overwhelming feeling of needing someone who simply isn’t there for you. It was my last-ditch effort to let someone know that they had broken my heart. Emotional? Well, maybe just a bit. But instead of ranting and screaming, throwing something and regretting it, my dancers expressed exactly how I felt through movement. Their bodies were tense, yet strong. By the end of the piece, you understood that they had been hurt, but that they knew how to carry onwards. Choreographing that piece was cathartic. It gave me a means to express what I could not verbally say. This creative outlet that Dance Theatre Group gave me was a monumental part of my healing process.
This healing allowed me to embrace my final semester of college as a time to enjoy what I have and the beautiful friends who have always been there for me. My piece this semester is called, “hey i like you lets be best friends.” It represents the thank you conversation that I wish I could have with the people who have gotten me through the last four years. They are the friends who I could rely on for everything from advice to midnight trips to get frozen yogurt. My dance this semester is essentially 5 duets, rolled into one (hopefully) cohesive piece. Each duet is a friendship, like the one you maybe had with someone in kindergarten. You don’t know why you are best friends, but it makes sense. It feels right. It’s silly and wonderful and you laugh so hard that you almost pee for no reason whatsoever. You could never really articulate to a best friend like that why you love them so much. It would be impossible to make a list of all of the reasons why they are wonderful. So, this is my thank you list. Thank you to the beautiful women who got me through the last four years. Thank you to Dance Theatre Group, for giving me a creative outlet and a means to articulate myself. I hope that you will enjoy Visions 2012, and find a piece or two that speaks to you in a way that words could not.