For the past few decades, and even more strongly now, emphasis has been placed on what foods people should be consuming. There has been a huge push recently towards “healthier eating,” and eating “fruits and vegetables” especially in America, where an obesity problem has been and still is an enormous issue. America is full of vegans and vegetarians who avoid eating meat and eggs because of moral or health reasons, and this is looked upon as healthy by many, but is following a strict vegan diet the best way to keep humans healthy? Other countries, such as India and China have a different stance and consider eating meat and eggs an essential part of anyone’s diet. Meanwhile there is a growing group of Americans who believe eating meat is terrible, and although many vegans have problems with getting all the essential vitamins up to the point where they have to take vitamin pills, the vegetarian/vegan movement is still growing. Massive and influential countries such as China and India still believe in eating food obtained from animals, and they are healthier than much of America; Americans need to worry more about eating a balanced meal instead of being so occupied with the fruit and vegetable sections of a diet.
Comments: I think you can shorten your introduction since there are too much backgrounds. You can simply and clearly put the attitudes of “America,” “China,” and “India” towards “meat” and “egg” at the first part of your introduction. Then bring the problem: is it healthy for America to eat vegetables and fruits instead of meats and eggs? And the solution should be America should consider the balance of diet.
The structure is a little bit confused. Some sentences are repeated. But as a Chinese, I cannot find any mistake of grammar and word choosing, and I really think I should learn some great expressions from you.
Although “need” represents your claim is objective and arguable, I think your thesis statement is not so easy to be proved. But I really like your introduction and I really think it is interesting and impressive.