Tenth Circle Added to Rapidly Growing Hell

To current and former Core students, Dante’s Inferno brings to mind images of a nine-tiered Hell filled with sinners of various sorts. CC102 students, studious as they are, know the nine circles and their inhabitants like the back of their hands.

Reporting by the Onion, though, indicates that Dante’s descriptions are out-of-date: recent years have spawned sinners “far more evil than the original nine circles were equipped to handle.” Built for the likes of downsizing CEOs, telemarketers, and TV-exercise-show personalities, the new tier is known as Corpadverticus, or the Circle of Total Bastards. It promises to alleviate the serious overcrowding issues at the price of skewing the realm’s carefully arranged allegorical structure.

To read more about Inferno’s recent expansion, check out the full article here.

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