My peer Callie gave me some comments:

1. I should have a strong thesis statement, which shows my opinion on which style is healthier, western style or eastern style?

2. Do not use “Let’s do something” in the essay. That’s not necessary. Just write what I am going to do .

3. My intro needs to be more specific and clear that how I am going to compare these two style of food. Comparing kids food in two styles and comparing adults food in two styles.

Original Intro Draft:

Western food and Eastern food are quite different in many aspects, from ingredients, seasoning to ways of cooking and so on. Therefore, the nutrition that the food provided could be poles apart even though they are the same type of food. People are always considering which style is better for health? Some may think that Eastern style are less oily and contains less fat or calories than the western style, however, others think that western food probably store more vitamins and protein, which are useful for balancing the necessary substances for our body. In addition, in order to let children grow healthier, food for kids food of both styles is not the same as the adults food.  Hence, which type is healthier becomes a concern of many people.  Let’s make American food and Chinese food be the two representatives of these varieties of food, and compare the kids food and adults food of both styles from several aspects.