So the semester is winding down, or more like ramping up to the end. I’ve been thinking of what take-aways, what wisdom I’ve gained this year and what I want to share. One of the ideas, that’s been sort of a recurring theme, and that you can probably track if you look at some of my older blog posts, is that I often approach life, people, and situations with a lot of preconceptions. I go into situations with my mind already made up and often I’m ready to be uncomfortable. I anticipate disappointment. I set my expectations too low. And there’s no reason why I should approach life this way. Doing this doesn’t make me happier. It definitely doesn’t reflect my values, and it ends up making me feel embarrassed for having such bad expectations to start with.
One of the key components of my theology is a belief that people are inherently good and filled with the light of the divine. When I set my expectations low, when I discount people I am going against my own beliefs. But it’s hard to set super high expectations for other people. It’s hard to expect places and situations to be enriching and inspiring, because setting high expectations makes us vulnerable. It opens us up to disappointment and let down. So what are we supposed to do, when we believe that people are good, and yet we know that people can and over and over again will let us down?
A UU seminarian friend shared with me her strategy to living into an ethic of high expectation. It’s called the “Green Lens.” The way it works is every time you meet or think about a person in your life, you view them with the following understandings.
The Green Lens
- This person is a hero, whole and complete.
- This person has goals and dreams and a desire to make a difference.
- This person has all their own answers.
- This person is contributing to me right now.
- This person deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.
~The Academy for Coaching Excellence
I love this list because it is both true in the right now and also an amazingly high expectation to set. I believe that each person is whole and complete, has goals and answers and gifts to give me. I believe each person deserves respect. And I also know that when I see people this way, when I believe in each person’s inherent goodness, I feel more whole.
Moving into the summer, into the next year of my life I want to harness the power of this green lens. I want to see people for the good that they are and not the threat they could potentially pose. I want to remember that I’m surprised so much more often than I’m disappointed and that the goodness in people (the god in people) is stronger than my fear and my doubt.