Vocation

It’s been a while, thirty-nine days to be exact. I have taking on so much over the past month and a half that I have neglected something that has been a consistent for me for two years now. This blog. So I have so much to say about what’s been happening in my life and how I interpret this thing called life. I’ll break this blog up in three sections.

The first section is my campaign. I’ve decided to run for student Body President of Boston University. I’m running because I believe in the power of collective and I want to build a community. I think there’s something that makes me feel like I have to run, it scared me to run and so here I am. I’m a week in and the energy is everything I wanted it to be. I want to make change, I want to start doing. I’ve met with countless student groups, individuals, and administrators about what makes a good student Body President. I thank i was scared most of failing. I hate rejection, the feeling that people wouldn’t want me. That’s what losing this election would be for me, a university rejection. But I’m optimistic, I believe in the people here, I didn’t know i had made so many relationships. It’s amazing to see people supporting your dreams and I feel that on a spiritual level. People I haven’t talked to since freshman year, have reached out and supported. Brother Larry once told me that the greatest leader of all time was a listener. That’s what stuck for me. I’m ready to listen, I’m ready to find a way to make this place better for students.

The second section is dedicated to community service and specifically my trip to South Africa. I fell in love with the country of South Africa, the history of racism personified through apartheid is so clear and the effects are so evident. I’ve been thinking about effective community service lately and what does that mean. Do these spring break trips matter, is it service tourism? I shy away from that idea because of small town in North Carolina called Louisburg that I’ll always hold close to my heart. But I think we have to find ways to have effective service. I’ve always learned more than I have given on service trips. This trip was even more unbalanced. I learned so much but what did I give? Why didn’t I push to give more? I hate the feeling that we didn’t do enough when the opportunity was there. I hate people checking their privilege because it’s the new normal. I’m seeking to be more genuine.

Lastly I need to address myself. I think I’ve taken this blog for granted. You don’t realize what it means to write and release once a week means to you until you don’t do it. I think I’ve grown and continue to grow but ultimately I want to figure out what people see in me. I’ve been told for years, “your special” and “you need naturally” but I’ve never seen it. I think that’s what I want to know now. Everything I’m doing is an attempt to know myself better. Forget not winning this election, not being effective changes everything for me. I can no longer say I’m special. Who I am has to change.