After we finished our introductions in Sojourn, we began our discussion of the passage in our usual Sojourn way: we talked about what stuck out to us and discussed what we thought about the themes surrounding the passage. Right now, we are going through the Epistle to the Ephesians. This week, the author(is it Paul? I’m pretty sure it’s debatable – well, for the purpose of this blog post, I’m sure that’s not important) prayed that the Ephesians would gain spiritual insight and grow in their knowledge of God, and that their hearts would be enlightened.
At that point in our discussion, we began to discuss the meaning behind this enlightenment of the heart. What, exactly, did it mean to have our hearts see the light?
I began thinking about one of my favorite stories written in our folklore: the story of Moses and the burning bush.
In this story, Moses sees a burning bush. He looks at it, and on second thought, it appears the bush is not burning, and yet it is on fire. That imagery. It could have been just another burning bush, but this one was more than just another burning bush. It really caught the eye of Moses.
As he approaches the bush, Moses gains a sense of the voice of God. God then proceeds to tell Moses to remove his sandals, for he is on holy ground.
As the conversation continues, God instructs Moses to act in bringing social justice to his people, the Israelites, and free them from the bondage of slavery in Egypt.
At the end of this exchange, Moses asks God what he should say if he is questioned on who sent him. God responds by saying that the “I am that I am” sent him.
This struck me because it was a brief moment in being fully present and noticing all of reality around him that had Moses wake up and see this burning bush. It is then that he hears the quiet word of God and thinks about the suffering of the Israelites. It is in that moment that he realizes the ground is holy – it wasn’t any less holy before; he simply did not see it until that moment. His act of presence, of truly being there, allowed him to hear the words of the “I am that I am.” In this way of modeling God, God is… Being Itself? God is simply existence. God is. Moses heard from the very of Ground of Being itself. This is who sent Moses: Being itself. And it was in being, in truly embracing existence that Moses was awoken. It was then that his heart was enlightened. In that moment, he realized: the ground below him was sacred, that bush is on fire, and the Israelites needed justice. It didn’t become sacred; it was already sacred: Moses simply just had to notice.
We were then asked if we had this confident hope that the author describes is in those who have had their hearts enlightened. We were asked if we feel as though our hearts were enlightened. In my head, I heard a resounding, ‘No, no you do not Nick. Right now, if you looked at the previous week, you don’t.’ And it was very true. There were various times when, in running from class to class, from responsibility to responsibility, from project to project or from lab to lab, I would actually ignore everyone around me. I would put headphones into my ears and hurry past everything around me, because I have places to be.
I would be there, but was I really there? I would, as my boss last summer would describe it, “be running on autopilot.” What was the point to it all? I would hurry around from each assignment to the next, from and to the dining hall, working for my future life and career path when I was missing the life going on around me.
We were given a task last week after Sojourn, and for me it was to actually be present with those around me. I am a former orientation leader, and I feel as though there were various times where, once the school year started, I was not really there for my students. So my task was, no matter who it was, no matter what I had going on, I would actually try to hold a conversation and really be there with anyone, whether it was a friend, a colleague, a coworker, a student…anyone – I would actually be there with them. I succeeded a few times. I was fairly proud of myself, and was ready to share with the group my accomplishments of actually being present around people.
Before I went, however, another person in Sojourn went, and she had a funny story to tell.
She laughed as she described seeing me in Warren during the previous week. She waved at me and I even made eye contact with her, but I didn’t notice her or respond. I just walked on by, listening to my music, and moving out and around everyone around me. This was incredibly sobering to hear.
Has my heart been seeing this light? Do I see the wonder around me like Moses saw in that burning bush? Did I ever take a moment and take off my sandals? Have I recently taken off the sandals of my coursework, and stresses, and thoughts about my future, and thoughts about my past mistakes? I mean, this is holy ground I am standing on, and everyone around me is a wonderful individual with a consciousness, and thoughts, and dreams, and hopes, and stresses, and friendships, and identities that give them meaning, and families. Have I recently taken a step back from everything and just practiced being there?
In reality, I really have not.
And to me, it’s important to really be there for others. I mean, another great way in which we model God is in the relational. God is where two or three gather. In our relational actions between ourselves, our actions are, well, perhaps acts of God. There were hundreds of times in my life where a friend, a coworker, a family member, Jen, my parents, or even a random stranger would commit an action that changed the very course of my day. And who knows, that might have had drastic changes that are still affecting me for the better today. It was in those moments of presence that our world, our reality, our existence, improves for the better.
And it is in being present that I hope that, I too, can have a positive impact on those around me. I might have failed in these regards these past couple of weeks, but I believe that, in admitting my failures, I can begin to work on practicing presence and putting more intentionality into my spiritual practices and that I can be a little more mindful with my time, with my responsibilities, and with how I treat those around me.
Maybe I can practice taking off those sandals, for I am on sacred ground.