Bucket List

Today, something incredible happened.

Honestly, when I woke up this morning all I could think was “I’m tired,” And sometimes, I have to admit, “I’m tired,” becomes “I don’t want to.” But church always makes me feel better. My friends and colleagues make me smile, the choir puts me at ease, the sermon makes me think in a positive and constructive way, and all that was affirmed for me this morning, with an added bonus.

While greeting fellow worshippers this morning, a woman approached me and asked if I could do her “a wicked big favor,” I smiled because even after three years I’m still new to New England-ish. I imagine I sometimes sound the same when I refer to any group of people as “y’all” and use phrases I’m pretty sure my grandparents must have invented based on the looks I get when they slip out. The woman asked me to take a picture of her and her friend. She said, “I listen to Marsh Chapel every week on the radio so this is on my bucket list!” How cool is that? Something I do every Sunday was on somebody’s bucket list. Immediately any thought of how little sleep I got this week or how many papers I had coming up melted away. I was part of someone’s bucket list.

I started thinking about my own bucket list. I’m pretty lucky. I’ve checked a lot of things off. This summer alone I climbed the steps to Sacre Coeur, saw a play in Shakespeare’s Globe and visited Annecy, France where St. Francis de Sales and Jane de Chantal founded the Visitation Order which provided my first fourteen years of education. Even my Boston bucket list has gotten shorter this year, I saw a Celtics game, went apple picking with my friends and walked all the way from the waterfront to my apartment in Fenway on an Autumn day. But I think my favorite things have always been being present when someone else got to check something off their list. The best life experiences are the ones we share with others.

Reformation Day

Dean Hill's Reformation Sunday speech was striking to me, especially the part on Martin Luther's sermon, The Freedom of the Christian: 

A Christian is a perfectly free lord of all, subject to none.

A Christian is a perfectly dutiful servant of all, subject to all.

These two theses seem to contradict each other. If, however, they should be found to fit together they would serve our purpose beautifully. Both are Paul’s own statements, who says in I Cor. 9[:19], “For though I am free item all men, I have made myself a slave to all,” and in Rom. 13[:8], “Owe no one anything, except to love one another.” Love by its very nature is ready to serve and be subject to him who is loved. So Christ, although he was Lord of all, was “born of woman, born under the law” [Gal. 4:4], and therefore was at the same time a free man and a servant, “in the form of God” and “of a servant” [Phil. 2:6–7].

I am glad to have had the chance to reflect on Luther's teaching of relying on grace alone, faith alone, and Scripture alone. It is incredible to think about his influence, how he made religion more accessible to people. For example, he assumed girls should be taught the catechism, insisted marriage was just as important as vocation and that music is next to theology. This is an interesting essay to read from the New Yorker about Luther's influence. I have yet to learn more about Martin Luther.

It was inspiring to see what people wrote on the "What Would you Reform?" blackboards on the Marsh Plaza on Tuesday, October 31. Here is what some people wrote:

  • Religious education across North America
  • Trump's Travel Ban
  • Nuclear weapon
  • ME
  • Remembering history as romanticized and not true
  • Financial aid based on parent income
  • Self care
  • The way we live our lives on social media
  • Old cancerous values
  • Health care
  • Criminal justice system
  • The binary conception of body and soul
  • Grade deflation @BU
  • The way we treat each other

We are living in a time of political turmoil, and there are many things that we may want to reform, but may not necessarily be able to change in our capacity. Nevertheless, it felt good to write out something, and it was fascinating to see what friends and strangers in our community care about. I hope we will all feel empowered by Martin Luther's legacy and will take on action after sharing these thoughts.

Hometowns

I went to Pittsburgh last weekend for the Western Pennsylvania United Methodist Women’s annual meeting.

As the weekend approached, my focus was less on the meeting and more on being home. My bed, my favorite ice cream shop, driving, highschool friends-everything I have missed.

So, I  traveled to Pittsburgh. I drove familiar streets. I visited with friends. I slept in my bed. It felt good.

But, it wasn’t until I walked into the meeting space on Saturday that I felt at home. I looked around at all of these familiar faces and the feeling washed over me. As I hugged and caught up with people ,as we went about our business I found myself repeating over and over, “it’s good to be home”. I meant it.

I’ve always been a pretty adaptable person, able to make wherever I am feel like home. This weekend, I felt a degree  familiarity and understanding that I didn’t even know I missed. While I felt this in my room and with my friends and in my neighborhood. I felt it most in that room-the place I was least expecting it.

I’m thankful for the comfort that I found surrounded by people I grew up with. I’m thankful for the way their presence filled me up and reminded me who I am. I am thankful for the way God spoke a word of comfort and hope to me in that community. I am thankful the streets, the food, the friendships I have found in southwestern Pennsylvania. More than anything, I am thankful for hometowns and the people that make them feel like home.

 

New perspectives

This week I attended the program for the 500th anniversary of the 95 theses. We had a delicious dinner and watched a documentary film on Luther and the historical context behind his actions. My father drove up to attend the event because we have very old German ancestry and both love good spätzle.  The documentary really exemplified the lasting and monumental effects of the protestant reformation. My dad pointed out that most of the changes Luther made in the church are exactly why I love church. This includes the ornate pipe organs, music programs, emphasis  on keeping clergy at a human level. I argued that everything I love about existence was shaped by the protestant reformation: science, music, artwork, women's rights... My dad and I spent a good deal of time reflecting on the evening afterwards with my little doggie, Sadie. It was a very pleasant night filled with good company and warm vibes.

The whole experience added to my continuing internal dialogue about my future. The church is extremely important to my personal life, but day after day becomes increasingly more important in my professional and academic life. This is confusing for me to grasp. I have always known that singing in a church choir would be a part of my life forever, but being involved in religious organization professionally was not something I ever imagined for myself. Each week goes by and I enjoy my work at Hebrew College and Marsh Chapel more and more and I start to question what exactly I value in a work environment. I am someone who is extremely influenced by my environment for better or for worse.  This means I know exactly which environments are not for me. Conversely, I know I require hardworking compatriots, passionate people, kind individuals, and curious thinkers in my daily life. Could this all be found in a religious oriented career?

Maybe. This week I am seriously pondering the idea of a non-traditional vocational identity.

The Future of the United Methodist Church

What is to become of the United Methodist Church?

This is a question I have been grappling with for the last year or so.

What is my role in a denomination in turmoil? What is the answer to a complicated divide over homosexuality? How will young adults like myself, raised, educated, and formed in the church, interact with a denomination we see full of contradictions and blurred lines?

I feel compelled to begin to answer these questions for myself and seem to keep referring back to the denomination's guiding principle: "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can."

It's hard to miss the word ALL in this quote.

But history's interpretations of the word ALL seem to miss the mark, especially in our country's own definition seen in the famous lines:

"that ALL men are created equal,"

and

"with liberty and justice for ALL."

These statutes have certainly not been upheld, yet Americans treat them with a certain reverence any Methodist might similarly use for John Wesley's most famous motto.

Perhaps it is time we learn from our shared history and reflect on how our tradition is failing to interpret the meaning of ALL just as the forefather's of our nation did.

As the world quickly becomes more inclusive and the definition of ALL seems to be shifting towards a more comprehensive concept, it is no doubt a difficult task to modify a communal definition of ALL at such a rapid pace. However, it is necessary. It is necessary to push ourselves as one united body in Christ, to create a lasting definition of ALL that means ALL, even if that means taking on the more difficult task at hand.

Pueblo

This week I heard a beautiful story from Paul Lyons, BU alum and founder of a solar consulting company Zapotec Energy. I am working on a solar canopy proposal for Earth House, a dorm I lived in last year, and I am so grateful to have the support and guidance of someone like Paul. Here is what I can remember from his story: The Zapotec people have been in the central valleys of Mexico of Oaxaca for five to seven thousand years. When Paul was in Oaxaca, the people asked him, “Where are you from? Where is your people and town?” The Spanish word “pueblo” means “town/village” and comes from the Latin root word populous, meaning "people". In Oaxaca, that is literally the case, as generations have lived on and been buried under the town—the earth of the town is made of the remains of the Zapotec people's ancestors.

Paul realized that he was not sure where he called his “pueblo,” as he moved from place to place over the years because of school, work and family. He saw that people were using dirty fuels transported from across the country and saw what it was doing to their land, he saw the effect of our collective overconsumption polluting Mexico. So Paul designed and installed low-cost solar water heaters for the homeowners, schools and non-profit institutions.

When he decided to come back to the U.S., he told himself that he was going to make Cambridge his town and work on something that is sustainable, something will allow us to survive for 3,000 years.  He named his company after the Zapotec people of Oaxaca to remind himself of the conversations that occurred. Paul shared that 50 years ago solar was too expensive and only used for spacecraft, but today, it has become cheaper because of aerospace research. The private business model of innovation, competitive pricing, delivering services and finding solutions has been the driver of change. Today, we can make high quality electricity for a reasonable price on rooftops, even for rural areas with no nearby grid! Solar PV technology really is transformative--if we did not have solar power for satellites, our global communication network, the viability of GPS, internet, and cellphone would not exist. It is an exciting time to be alive.

In summary, I gather from Paul’s story that people must be rooted, invested in their land to take care of it in a responsible, sustainable way. We are part of nature, therefore we must not poison it. Paul’s story was striking to me because I could relate to feeling like a nomad— as a third-culture kid, I do not belong to Taiwan as I moved when I was 6 years old, I do not belong to Shanghai, as I do not speak their mother tongue, nor do I belong to Boston, as I am not a U.S. citizen. I want to be able to spend more time to reflect and think about who I am, what my calling is, and where I call home and who I call my people.

Side Effects

This week I've been frazzled. This post is currently the eigth tab open on my Chrome browser, but on Monday there were four or five others. Earlier this week, I walked into class and a friend of mine diagnosed me with stage 4 Senioritis, a condition common among late-term college students.

Sure, it makes homework a little harder, future planning pretty stressful, and turns every conversation into "so what are your plans after graduation?" But there are some positive side effects too. Excitement. Motivation. Figuring out who you are.

So what are my plans after graduation? Honestly, I can't be sure. I began the semester completely sure I was headed for grad school, applying for jobs would just be a safety net in case it didn't work out right away, but as I started thinking more about it, I've been a student for about seventeen years now, it feels like a good time to try something different.

The question on my mind metamorphosed into, "so what do you want to do?" and once again, I was stumped. Something in my field, I guess. Something that puts the knowledge I've accumulated to use. Something I'm passionate about. I thought about my parents, because they're both successful, but also enjoy their work. They're kind of my heroes. My mom has worked in a lot of different places, but decided she wanted to work in an association serving her local community, helping to solve problems that affect her neighbors every day. She handles finances for a group that tackles gaps in access to healthcare brought on by income inequality. My dad has dedicated most of his life to the healthcare community, making it easier for doctors to focus on caring for patients. But, when I really think about it, my passion is making other people happy. Suddenly, the world felt like a map I could just throw a dart at. I could make people happy anywhere. Sure, it would feel cool to say "I'm working here and changing the world," but sometimes the world is changed when you bring a smile to a few people. So I'm optimistic I can make a difference wherever I go.

At these times when I'm thinking so much about where I'm going, I like to pause and take stock of where I am: watching I-90 traffic and the commuter rail buzz by before the sun has even come up. My kitchen has two windows, one looks right at campus, right past the engineering buildings and Warren Towers to the two spires of the College of Arts and Sciences and School of Theology that surround Marsh Plaza, my place of serenity, my home base. The other window faces downtown Boston. The skyline is often obscured by a thick layer of fog, like it is this morning, so sometimes the buildings are difficult to see, but even at seven in the morning there are enough lights on to promise me they're all there. One of my windows reminds me why I came here, something I'm proud of, everything I've accomplished so far. The other shows me my future, cloudy at times, big, bright and kind of intimidating. But it looks pretty good to me.

We are Not Real

Human Population: ~7.6 Billion

We continue to study atoms

and work like ants,

cut grass,

look at plants and

landscape

houses, small and big.

We look at other humans,

hate, but love wins.

Speak and judge based on skin

creed, ideas, faith

coming to the conclusion that we are different,

but uniquely great.

A look at history proves we can escape,

the pain, chains, and whips

while we overcome pain

wear gold chains and drive new whips

we continue to gain.

Look up and out to space

at outer space

analyze the sun and moon

and make false assumptions

until we get it right

and better understand

what we see at night.

The infinite planets

and realize the true size

of god's creation.

We are small. There are approximately 7.6 billion humans on this planet and we can somehow live harmoniously. Regardless of who we are and what we do, we end up in the same place. We are small in comparison to this world; therefore our only solution is to create space and love each other, this planet, and the god we have above.

Transition Space

I have been thinking  about the future a lot recently, particularly as I am constantly confronted with questions like, “what do you want to do?”, “how will you use this?”

As a result, I regularly reflect on the person I am and the person I want to be. Recently, these thoughts have been focused on  transition. I am not yet the person I hope to become.There are areas in which I would like to grow, things I still need to learn. I am a work in progress.

Transitions imply leaving something behind, but they are also a time of such possibility. As everything shifts, the whole world feels open and accessible.  I think I’m living in this transition space between who I am and who I want to be.  Everything feels open ended. It is beautiful, if slightly uncomfortable. But I’m learning to enjoy it and to let myself feel everything in these moments, good and bad.

Maybe all of life is a version of this transition space. Part of me hopes that it is. It's exciting to be constantly changing, growing,  dreaming and I hope to always be becoming a more whole, grace-filled, better person.

 

Hope – Day 293

Today after church, MOVE decided to take our volunteer efforts to the public sphere and put together relief kits on the plaza of Marsh. We had some music going and I was tasked with trying to get any and everyone to come and help us finish our kits. I was surprised but the outcome and how many people were willing to take a few minutes out of their day and help us out. There was a moment when Lovely Day was on and we had about seven people helping out and I just felt this rush of joy. I was content in that moment, happy with life and amazed by the simple idea of love. Sunday was a good day. Sunday I was just happy to be apart of something so positive and so real. I can't wait to have consistent days like Sunday. Days where the stress of school don't matter and we just feel good. I left Marsh and had Brothers United at Dean Elmore's house and hope just seemed to be everywhere. I still feel it pulsating and vibrating everywhere. I think we live in the "dark ages" a period where being negative and blue is the norm. But, today I had a glimpse of hope. It is more than powerful. It is day changing and year making.

I'm excited for MOVE and the change we can make on this campus. We may not change the world but we can give others that same feeling I had today and that for me is enough. Being able to share that feeling is bigger than numbers and funds raised. It's being apart of someones "moment."