Joe: Why you SHOULDN’T study abroad

Imagine leaving everything you know behind to live in a foreign place for four months? Well, hold on to your hats, kids, because this guy did just that and moved to this tiny little place called London. Maybe you’ve heard of it, maybe you haven’t. But I’m here to tell you why you shouldn’t abandon everything you know for an experience abroad. You will hate every second of it and have so much regret, continuously counting down the days until you’re back home living with your parents.

Trust me.

First of all, London is D I S G U S T I N G. There are so many scenic landmarks to photograph that you’ll be too overwhelmed. And sometimes the sun comes out and it’s warm and it’ll make you go “WHYYYYYYY????”

Secondly, there is nothing to do here. It’s unbearable. There’s only so many times you can go to the Harry Potter Studio Tour, Borough Market, Camden Market, Portobello Market, Shoreditch, SoHo, Chelsea, Oxford Circus, ride the London Eye, see Big Ben, explore the South Bank, go to Brighton Beach, etc. before you get tired of it all. The lack of things to do here makes London incredibly boring.

London is so segregated from the rest of Europe that it’s almost impossible to travel beyond the UK. A 3-hour train ride just to get to Paris…seriously!?! Truthfully, I’ll settle for nothing longer than 2 hours and 59 minutes.

(P.S. The pizza in Florence is literally so gross that you’ll contemplate how lucky you are to never have to see it again)

Everyone here speaks English and it’s sooooooo inconvenient. To be able to understand what everyone is saying all the time is not exactly what I had in mind when fantasizing about my time abroad. And the people are a little too friendly. It’s like they’re overcompensating for that time we dumped their tea in a certain harbor. Or their overzealous imperialism.

And lastly, it sucks because I’m further than I’d like to be from the greatest man on the planet and my real life role model, as pictured below.

So, in conclusion, it’s probably best that you just don’t come here. I’ll stay and carry this burden for the both of us.


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