GT N: Figuring Out Your Friends

Who are your friends and what do they mean to you? Some people have childhood best friends that they’ve grown up with, others make friends through their sports or clubs, and others have a “right time right place” meet cute.

It is a bittersweet moment when the friends you’ve made your whole life begin to go on their different paths as you enter college. Maybe it feels like starting from square 1 again. That’s how I felt when I decided to move across the country for college. I knew that I still had my friends back home, but in this new chapter of life, it was going to be different. It was scary coming to the east coast all alone not knowing a single soul, but I promise everything works itself out. 

It’s a canon event for those large freshman friend groups to form the first week of school. I was in one, too. I wouldn’t say these friendships are artificial, but I wouldn’t say these are the people you will be with your whole college career just because things worked out in the beginning. When you’re in such a new environment with so many people in the same position as you, it’s natural to be drawn to them and even hold on to them. There is nothing wrong with that, but as time goes by, these groups get smaller and that is simply the way it goes. 

I see it as the accelerated version of the “three month rule” in dating. You eventually get to a point where you decide if you genuinely like these people, and there is only so much time you are willing to give to them. You essentially grow out of the people you met in the beginning, and that is okay! College is so concentrated with young, bright, and  like-minded people. Everyone is trying to figure themselves out, and sometimes it comes at a cost of drifting from friends in order to make room for more.\

I’ve learned to not take many social interactions personally in college, and that has helped me a bunch. As someone that gets attached easily and takes many things to heart, I learned that you might walk past someone you met at an event that won’t remember you, or for a moment things were going great with someone but somewhere along the way your paths won’t cross anymore. I want to assure you that you are not alone and it has nothing to do with you. 

You will meet people that you thought could be your lifelong friends and others where the connection is not that deep. Just keep in mind that things can change and anything can happen. Your social circle will be more like an ever changing cloud as you grow as a person and find yourself in college. Don’t lose yourself chasing other people, but focus on who you want to be, and people will gravitate towards you. 

GT N: Turn Your Life Upside Down

If you’re too comfortable, you’re doing it wrong. 

Don’t get me wrong; I think being in a state of comfort and stability is what everyone should strive to achieve, but it is not the state you should stay in, especially during this time of your life.

College is the only time where you can be immersed in a concentrated group of people that share relatable and different experiences as you, and it is so temporary. Now is the time to learn more about yourself, who you like to be around, what makes you happy, and where you want to go in life. I’m not saying you will know everything by the end of college or fully understand yourself by the time you graduate, but you should do your best to get as close as you can.

I moved to Boston from Southern California alone. I got a random roommate. I went to concerts alone. I rushed for a business fraternity without understanding Greek culture. 

It was hard. It was really hard, and sometimes, I just wanted everything to stop. However, looking back, I am so grateful I took so many leaps of faith because it made me who I am today. I am more in touch with myself. I know I want to continue living in a city, how to use the T, coexist with my roommate, how to enjoy my own company, and realizing Greek life is not for me.

Maximize your growth as a young individual in this safe environment to test your limits! Never put yourself in a position where you feel unsafe, but know that the highest mountains come after the lowest valleys. You will truly never know until you try. I know how it feels to want security and belonging, but I encourage you to embrace uncomfort. 

Do something alone. Join a club you never saw yourself joining. Go to networking events when you don’t know anyone. Do things outside of your daily routine. 

Embrace college and discomfort. You will only know your limits when you test them. Turn your life upside down so you won’t have to turn it around in the future.

GT: You are right where you are supposed to be.

I am here to validate your feelings and remind you everything will be okay.

College is a beautiful place and time for us to learn and become the best version of ourselves. I must admit, however, it can be intimidating and overwhelming especially when everyone around you is moving at a different pace. 

I left the suburbs of southern California to experience the pace of the city and east coast culture. The transition and adjustment for my first semester was beyond difficult because I felt so lost and lonely. I was the only one to go far from my high school, and it felt like everyone else knew what they were doing and were able to make friends and enjoy BU just fine. This caused me to go into an emotional spiral because I kept asking myself: what am I doing wrong?

Well, the answer is nothing. I am right where I’m supposed to be. I’d like to share some quotes and sayings that helped keep me grounded in my college journey, and hopefully they will help you too. Wherever you are on your college journey whether it be your freshman year, last semester and job searching, or somewhere in between, I would like to offer some wise words and reassurance. 

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”: Whenever I see someone the same age with me partying a little harder or doing a little better, I begin to feel sad for myself and wonder why my life isn’t as great. However, I have to remember that everyone has a life of their own and there is a lot going on behind the scenes. Comparing my experiences with others will not make my life any better. As a COM major, there’s no way to exile social media from our lives, but rather learn how to live with it in a healthy way.

“Everything is temporary.”: This is very bittersweet. Time will pass and you will finish that class you dreaded so much or that fun event will come to an end. Nothing lasts forever except the constant changes, so appreciate the good times and endure the bad. Great things are ahead of you.

“Find out what you like, figure out why you like it, and just be bold after that.”: Our student body is such a diverse group and there are many influences around us that can be overwhelming. Trends go in and out and what’s socially acceptable can change overnight. It is important to not get lost in the sauce, and remember you are your own person and you are in control of your life. Stay true to yourself, always.

In the end, we are very small specks on a spinning rock. Nothing really matters except how you choose to go about your life. You will go through some valleys physically, mentally, emotionally, and that is completely okay. You will make it. You will be okay. Trust the process, and more importantly trust in yourself.