Who are your friends and what do they mean to you? Some people have childhood best friends that they’ve grown up with, others make friends through their sports or clubs, and others have a “right time right place” meet cute.
It is a bittersweet moment when the friends you’ve made your whole life begin to go on their different paths as you enter college. Maybe it feels like starting from square 1 again. That’s how I felt when I decided to move across the country for college. I knew that I still had my friends back home, but in this new chapter of life, it was going to be different. It was scary coming to the east coast all alone not knowing a single soul, but I promise everything works itself out.
It’s a canon event for those large freshman friend groups to form the first week of school. I was in one, too. I wouldn’t say these friendships are artificial, but I wouldn’t say these are the people you will be with your whole college career just because things worked out in the beginning. When you’re in such a new environment with so many people in the same position as you, it’s natural to be drawn to them and even hold on to them. There is nothing wrong with that, but as time goes by, these groups get smaller and that is simply the way it goes.
I see it as the accelerated version of the “three month rule” in dating. You eventually get to a point where you decide if you genuinely like these people, and there is only so much time you are willing to give to them. You essentially grow out of the people you met in the beginning, and that is okay! College is so concentrated with young, bright, and like-minded people. Everyone is trying to figure themselves out, and sometimes it comes at a cost of drifting from friends in order to make room for more.\
I’ve learned to not take many social interactions personally in college, and that has helped me a bunch. As someone that gets attached easily and takes many things to heart, I learned that you might walk past someone you met at an event that won’t remember you, or for a moment things were going great with someone but somewhere along the way your paths won’t cross anymore. I want to assure you that you are not alone and it has nothing to do with you.
You will meet people that you thought could be your lifelong friends and others where the connection is not that deep. Just keep in mind that things can change and anything can happen. Your social circle will be more like an ever changing cloud as you grow as a person and find yourself in college. Don’t lose yourself chasing other people, but focus on who you want to be, and people will gravitate towards you.
