My first few days as a freshman at Boston University were, naturally, full of awkward attempts to socialize with floormates. Only one thing sufficed in breaking down any and all social anxieties among the people that would eventually become some of my best friends, and that thing was food. When 30 seconds talking about the first few days of classes in the common room gradually turned into 5 minutes of painful silence intermingled with simultaneous attempts to start a spoken thought by 4 people, someone would inevitably ask if the rest of the crew was hungry and we would all joyously romp to the Warren Towers Dining Hall. All was swell, as long as there were burgers, pizza and endless ice cream for dessert.
Or so I thought. It turns out that I was the only one who ate McDonald’s® Big Macs© and small-town house-of-pizza pizza for dinner every single night of my life prior to college. So, within a week, all my friends with their cultured palates and knowledge of how to pronounce the word “pho” started to desire more. They began doing weekly sushi, going to the North End, and getting regular brunch. Eventually, I was the only one left, eating three limp burgers and two pasta plates per meal in the loneliest corner in Warren Towers dining hall. You know, the one with three tables for two (one) near the big windows to the far left of the back section, sequestered from view by the booths that demarcate the social area? The one where only dining hall employees on their breaks and I sit? Yeah.
Well, since I’m now a second-semester senior (NO!) and don’t want to endure this sort of social exile when I enter real life (NOOOOOOO!) I’ve decided to finally do my best to become a foodie.
I present to you all: A bad first-time Boston foodie’s guide for dummies
OMG best brunch literally ever: Deep Ellum
Ok, so this one I’ve done a bit of research and crowdsourcing, and it seems to be pretty unanimous that this place rocks. It’s a bit of a jaunt into Allston, where Cambridge Street and Brighton Ave intersect, but it’s worth the Uber©®™ fee. The cheese plate is so good that I can’t describe it in words, so…just get it. I can’t tell if my favorite option is the Fall River French Toast or the Breakfast Burrito, or the time I smashed both of those together and then layered on two side orders of their incredible bacon. Their poutine is also the best 2 a.m. poutine on the planet. I assume it’s good at other times of the day as well.
Best compromise with your friends who actually think about what they eat and adhere to reasonable, rational diets, and oh man I need to stop eating so much meat: Yard House
Located in the social hub of Fenway, Yard House is a great social environment for Boston youths representing all dietary backgrounds. A majority of the snacks and about half the appetizers at this place are vegetarian. They have a gardein (pronounced gar-DEEN, my server made sure to let me know quickly [and I promptly refused to learn on account of his rudeness]) option for their sizeable burger selection, and several vegetarian appetizers and pizzas that have manage to draw me away from the best steak ever, the 12 oz. rib eye, at about 50 percent of my visits here. On Saturdays, Yard House fills up with hundreds of young professionals taking advantage of its massive beer collection and schmoozing under the sultry fluorescent lights.
Best deal on earth: Lolita
Lolita Cocina & Tequila Bar offers all-you-can-eat tacos every Monday for $9. That’s right. Infinite tacos. I don’t think this typeface is properly conveying the significance of this opportunity: INFINITE. I’m sure there are cool buffets and things in the area and other all-you-can-eat deals, but this is the first place I’ve ever felt inspired to actually approach the concept of infinity because the food was that good. AND, they didn’t stop me. I ate tacos until my mind descended (transcended?) into a dissociative state in which all matter, all circumstance, all being was taco. And the place has a creepy dungeon theme with ominous red lights, which is fun too.
