Baking bread in quarantine is the 2020 equivalent of a Victory Garden. It’s a convenient and fun way to provide yourself with sustenance and “reduce pressure on the public food supply,” because that’s a thing we have to think about now. So while we’re all watching our futures be canceled indefinitely, it is probably useful to brush up on our baking skills for when we inevitably have to become bakers in the post-pandemic world, at least until we are chosen to compete against Tributes from the other districts. And that’s on Peeta Mallark! Though you may not ever be a breadwinner, you can always be a bread baker, so here’s what kind of bread you should make based on what career you might have had if we weren’t in a pandemic.
- PR Professional – Whole Wheat
Whole wheat gets a bad rap because it has a weird texture and it’s good for you, which of course makes it kind of gross. This is exactly why YOU, an aspiring PR professional, must give it a good name. Practice baking this bread in quarantine and maybe give it a nice rebrand so the millennials will buy it.
- Advertising Account Manager – Sourdough
Like sourdough, I imagine this job is kind of tough. Also, sourdough is THE bread of capitalism. Don’t ask me why – I just know.
- Filmmaker – Banana bread
This is barely a bread and it is useful to no one, but it is very nice and it makes life better, just like you will with your little movies.
- Documentary filmmaker – Rye
This is a bread that is sometimes average and sometimes GREAT, much like documentary filmmaking.
- Journalist – Croissant
If croissants even count as bread, they are the hardest bread to bake. It takes skill, patience, and LOTS of butter to get these right. The same can be said for journalism. Also like journalism, croissants will reveal the TRUTH…of whether or not you suck at baking.
Happy breadmaking!