Christy: I Still Don’t Feel Like an Adult, and That’s Okay

I am almost half way through my junior year, and I still don’t really feel like an adult. 

Although I may outwardly exhibit signs of being an adult (“legally” of adult age, living in an off-campus apartment, etc.), I actually feel like I am no where close to mastering the art of “adulting” just yet. The initial transition into college was a taste of freedom that I never experienced before, tricking me into thinking I was actually an adult ready to take on the world. But really, everyday I find that I am still learning so much about myself and it makes me question if I am as ready and grown as I thought I was freshman year.

I actually feel less mature than I did freshman year. I think the biggest reason being I talk to my mom almost everyday, sometimes multiple times a day. Sometimes I call just to check in or tell her about my day, and other times I call for advice — both make me feel young. 

Telling my mom about my day seems like I am coming home from elementary school and giving her a full play-by-play. (Yes, sometimes I even tell her what I ate for lunch.) But she takes genuine interest and I love talking to her, so I never see any fault in calling her. But, I probably call my mom more often than my friends talk to their parents. Telling her about the highs and lows of my day not only help me decompress, but also allow me to receive advice when needed. 

Which leads me to what I think is the constant need for advice and approval. More often than not, I call her to help me make decisions. From asking her what I should do for dinner to helping me make more difficult decisions, I always seek her advice and hold her opinion above all else. Always turning to my mom makes me wonder if I am capable of making decisions on my own. Could I be satisfied with making a big decision knowing that my mom was not a part of the decision-making process/I don’t have her seal of approval? There is no shame in seeking advice, though, and especially for an indecisive and anxious person like me, it is in no sense demeaning and childish, but rather comforting.

Through it all, I am still learning. Seeking help and advice from your parents does not necessarily mean you’re a child, but rather means you are on your way to coming into your own as an adult. We have been told time and time again that college is a learning experience; you don’t become an adult the second your parents leave your freshman dorm after move-in day. Being away from your parents for the first time often makes you reach for their support more than ever before because they can no longer come to your aid by calling them from the next room over. So don’t be afraid to call your mom for advice next time you don’t know what to eat for dinner! She will love to help you out.

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