When I first committed to Boston University, the idea of moving 1000 miles away from home was thrilling. I spent my entire life in the suburbs of Chicago, and while I loved my hometown, I felt that I was ready to explore and experience more outside of my bubble of Glen Ellyn, Illinois. Boston and BU’s allure was too enticing for me to resist.
However, almost as soon as I threw my cap in the air at my high school graduation, an uneasy knot formed in my stomach as I realized the reality of my college choice.
Was I ready to move away from home? Could I handle being in an unknown city without family nearby? Am I strong enough to get through the hard times by myself?
These seeds of doubt followed me all summer as I prepared for college. While I was thrilled and grateful to experience a new chapter in my life in a new environment, I was terrified of the amount of change I’d be experiencing.
Amidst the whirlwind of emotions I felt as I packed up my bedroom, I reminded myself why I chose Boston University in the first place.
For me, it wasn’t entirely about the academic programs or bustling city life. I wanted to challenge myself and grow in ways I wouldn’t be able to if I stayed within the confines of my comfort zone and the convenience of my hometown.
So, on move-in day, after I said tearful goodbyes to my family, I did exactly that: challenged myself. I introduced myself to my dorm floor neighbors, got involved in an outrageous amount of clubs, and threw myself into my schoolwork. However, throughout my first semester, the feelings of homesickness I thought would abate never left me.
Though I was kept extremely busy with my classes and social life, I still had persistent, nagging feelings of sadness and anxiety. I knew that homesickness was a common experience during the first semester of college, but I did not expect it to impact me as much as it did and for as long as it did.
My first semester flew by, and after winter break, I found myself dreading going back to school. I was worried that my negative feelings and homesickness would continue to affect my day-to-day life and prevent me from enjoying college.
In an effort to combat these negative feelings, I surrounded myself with the people I felt best with. Spending time with friends who understood my feelings and allowed me to repeatedly express them was an outlet I was extremely grateful to have, and it also strengthened my friendships with them.
Beyond connecting with the people around me, I made a conscious effort to stay connected to my family and friends back home. Scheduling weekly (or daily) calls at set times gave me something to look forward to and motivation to power through the day, alleviating my loneliness and feelings of disconnect from life back at home.
Coming back home for spring break and leaving at the end of the break was an extremely difficult but final process of realization for me. As I reached the final six weeks of my freshman year of college after spring break, I acknowledged that while leaving family and friends at the end of each break is hard -and will undoubtedly get harder- it’s a significant part of the college experience that is a testament to my growth and strength.
Each time I return to my hometown, I’m reminded of the comfort and familiarity it offers, but I also recognize the importance of returning to Boston, growing independently, and continuing my journey at Boston University.
Homesickness and anxiety in college are normal experiences for college freshmen – and sophomores, juniors, and seniors – to have. Feeling uncomfortable, anxious, and uncertain in a new place is natural, and all transitions will have bumps in the road.
It is important to recognize that adjusting to a new environment takes time and all students will feel a range of emotions during this transition period.
I want to advise incoming freshmen to give themselves permission to feel any emotions they experience—whether sadness, anxiety, anger, or regret—and understand that it’s all part of the process of navigating a new, unfamiliar experience.
Remember that everyone’s college transition journey is unique, and there’s no right or wrong way to work through it. Be patient with yourself, take time to process your feelings, and trust that with time, you’ll settle into your new surroundings and begin to feel more comfortable. There is no right or wrong amount of time to take when adjusting to college life. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and seek support from your family and friends. Embrace the challenges and opportunities that come during this new chapter of your life – and above all, be kind to yourself during this exhilarating yet daunting transition.
